Dying with dignity
Dorothy Snell, my mother-in-law, lived downstairs for nearly ten years. Her eldest daughter, my darling wife, has many great memories of those years, and the kindness and love of a wonderful soul.
MAiD in heaven.
A week ago, Dorothy’s three daughters, two granddaughters, and their spouses, assembled downstairs in her granny flat to visit for the last time. By 11 AM, everyone had said their goodbyes, interspersed with many “I love you” and “mommy. I’ll miss you” heart-felt professions. It was a surprisingly peaceful occasion imbued with an atmosphere of great respect, appreciation, gratitude and dignity. Even our two golden retrievers were solemn and respectfully silent.
Afterwards, upstairs, everyone shared stories - sometimes tearful, sometimes sentimentally. Dorothy was loved by all.
Both David Snell in 2017, and now Dorothy Snell in 2025, accepted the MAiD option with profound dignity. My wife and I had witnessed their personal struggles with cancer every day, and we understood their decision.
In both cases, they had reached a point where they were ready to die and wanted to do so on their terms.
David had accepted Buddhism as his faith. Dorothy never attended church while she lived with us. However, she loved life and appreciated its source from wherever it comes. But, religion played no part in their MAiD choices as far as I was aware.
My parents.
Thinking back, I recall how my dad and mom died. Both were devout Catholics. I doubt that the MAiD decision would have been acceptable to either if legally available.
Dad died in a hospital bed in the palliative care wing of our local hospital in 1992 about six months after surgery for bowel cancer. My final hours with him were pathetic. I was shocked by the degree that cancer had ravished his body, his delirium from opioids, and his ardent refusal to accept the inevitable. These are my final memories of the formerly robust, intelligent and principled father that I had known as his eldest son. Dad had just turned 67.
Mom died in 2014 at age 84 after a happy second marriage. She had grown old gracefully, by after her first stroke at age 82, physical and mental decline progressed more rapidly.
Just days before mom died in the palliative care wing of a local hospital, she confided in me that she did not feel the presence of Jesus to walk her through her passage from life. This was profoundly disappointing to her, and deepened her suffering.
Long ago, I left the Roman Catholic church and never regretted it. When I compare the deaths of David and Dorothy to those of my parents, I know which I would choose under similar circumstances. After all, if I have always tried to live a dignified life, why would I accept anything less when I die?
The Will of God?
The choice to exercise my will over that of God would be considered a mortal sin, or heresy, according to many religions. For the deeply religious, such a choice would be accompanied by profound guilt and the belief that the punishment for committing mortal sins will be experienced after death, as decreed by a vengeful God.
Let’s consider the formal institutional stances of the major faiths as reported by Google Gemini:
• Christianity (Catholicism, Orthodox, and many major Protestant denominations): Strongly oppose active euthanasia/assisted suicide, viewing life as a sacred gift from God that should not be prematurely ended.
• Islam: Strongly opposes euthanasia/assisted suicide, as it is viewed as an interference with God’s will and a violation of the sanctity of life.
• Hinduism: Generally opposes active hastening of death (euthanasia) due to the concept of karma and the timing of death being significant for the soul’s next birth. Passive withdrawal of life support is sometimes accepted.
• Buddhism: Generally opposes active euthanasia because intentionally causing death, even out of compassion, violates the moral precept against destroying life and may negatively affect the dying person’s spiritual state and rebirth.
• Judaism (Orthodox and Conservative): Generally opposes active euthanasia/assisted suicide, as it is considered a forbidden act of murder or suicide, though passive withdrawal of extraordinary life support may be permitted in some circumstances.
If you consider Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism (four of the top five largest organized religions, representing billions of adherents) as formally opposing active euthanasia, then at least 40% of the major world religions have an institutional stance of opposition.
It’s important to note the distinction:
• Institutional Stance: The official teaching of a religious body (e.g., the Catholic Church, Islamic authorities).
• Individual Adherent Views: Surveys often show that a significant number of individuals who identify with these religions personally support the legalization of assisted dying, particularly for terminally ill patients, in countries where it is a public issue (like Canada and the UK). The support for MAiD in Ontario, for example, exists alongside the formal opposition of many religious institutions.
Dorothy is still with us 😇
David and Dorothy sold their home in 2015 to donate much of the proceeds to build our new shared home with a fully equipped, two bedroom apartment downstairs from the rest of our house. Dorothy, in particular, wanted to live her final days as close to nature as possible.
Our home is located 5 kms from the nearest town and situated on two forested acres sounded by a 28 acre forest owned by her youngest daughter and husband. The setting is idyllic. I large fenced in yard for the dogs. A short walk to Cameron Lake. Birds abound; there is even an osprey nest that is inhabited every year. Visits from deer and fox are not uncommon. Dorothy cared for the shrubs and flowers under the watchful eyes of her constant companions - Sorin and Dodie - her devoted golden retrievers.
Dorothy never stopped expressing how much she appreciated living here and having family so close by to help her when needed.
Those words by Mary E Frye were chosen by Dorothy.
She had a life well lived.
She will surely have an eternity to match its best parts in the afterlife.
The trouble with MAiD is the slippery slope. If I could attached photos here, I’d share a pamphlet that is geared towards MAiD and children (“mature minors”is the euphemism they use). Additionally, there is not much known/explained about the dying process. I.e. How aware they are though paralyzed… and I’ve heard it is akin to drowning (please accept my apologies, I don’t want to be insensitive since I understand 2 of your much loved family members opted for this, I want to be considerate and respectful of that). I understand the mercy argument and how treacherous cancer can be. My feeling is, MAiD would not be necessary if we had a better healthcare system that focused on holistic medicine, healthy lifestyle and root cause analysis. And also, the avoidance of corrosive treatments, like radiation and chemo that unfortunately can wreak more havoc than the disease itself. No judgement here, just my thoughts.
Interesting that all of the major religions have a problem with MAiD. My most recent exposure to it was hearing that a local doctor had taken it upon himself to contact a depressed Canadian Armed Forces veteran by telephone to suggest that he should consider it....the medical professional who relayed this to me was shocked and traumatized, as I am certain the CAF veteran was too. Lovely stories like this help hide the ugly stories in which frail, disabled and financially destitute human beings are being encouraged to leave Earth to make things easier for others.
When the same bureaucrats who can't find your tax return get paid to encourage teen-agers or persons suffering mental illness to end their lives, we are truly finished. This is a culture of death. Please don't promote it.