Motor-mouth

We all know people who vocally express every thought that enters their head. This can be an attractive quality in a partner for some people, and a distracting and undesirable quality for others.

Content matters.

The term motor-mouth is defined as slang for a person who is a constant or irrepressible talker. The opposite might be considered an introvert.

When the nature of verbally-expressed thoughts is wise, informative, insightful and relevant to the circumstances, I welcome it. However, some people are morose, self-absorbed, critical, fearful and catty about others. I find a vocal string of thoughts like these difficult to tolerate for any length of time.

An introvert is likely someone who will avoid the company of the latter type of motor-mouth. For example, I know a man in his 80s who left a long term cohabitation with a partner who is mid-70s. When she asked why he was leaving, he said “At my age, I may not have many years left and they won’t be with you”. She is afraid of, or negative about, virtually everything and lets anyone within earshot hear about it incessantly.

Circumstances and compatibility.

Years ago, my first wife complained that I would not share my thoughts and feelings when I came home from work each day. As a professional recruiter, I had many conversations throughout the day that left me mentally exhausted and craving peace and quiet at home. She wanted more attention than I was able to give. She insisted on sharing every moment of her day and demanded I do the same. The life lesson I learned from that ten-year marriage was that long term compatibility is not easy to identify during the dating and “honeymoon” stages of partner relationships.

Adaptation

Our circumstances may change throughout life, but our temperament, tastes and preferences may not adapt easily to those changes, if at all. I personally know older people today who are now curmudgeonly and anti-social but were optimistic and outgoing in the earlier decades when I knew them best.

Health issues surely play a part. Fearful thoughts understandably arise due to one’s expectation that ‘the end’ could be near, or that the ride towards that unknown date may be very bumpy. It also doesn’t help that most of us doubt if our Health Care System will be able to help us in our time of need.

The MAiD program

MAiD is very controversial today. Some fear that it is designed to “thin the herd” and eliminate those who place the greatest demand on the resources of an already burdened Health Care System. Others welcome that option for a variety of good personal reasons. Like abortion, the topic has raised passionate pro- and con- responses from every segment of society.

When I was young, it seemed to me that encroaching old age was a time when most people become preoccupied with fear and negativity (and religion). However, I have since learned that everyone faces their “twilight years” differently. Being realistic about what's coming is one way to cope, followed by choosing to spend as much time as possible doing pleasant, solitary things like fishing, perhaps with grandchildren, or working to fulfill “bucket list” goals that are yet to be achieved.

I think am not a fisherman.

I play golf with a bunch of old timers, some as old as late 80s, and some who play often, almost daily. No one would accuse me of being an introvert and my “motor-thoughts” tendency are expressed in these MY LIFE LENS pages rather than vocally.

Over beers after a round of 9 holes, the guys talk mostly about news, travel, their golf game, personal projects and sports, but sometimes the conversation turns to health ailments, only briefly. We often sit in silence enjoying the day, the ambience and the presence of others at a similar stage of life and frame of mind.

Solitude in the presence of others can be heavenly.