My “social” mask

The ‘family divide’ and the ‘political divide’ are one and the same among my siblings. The loss of respect for each other’s personal sovereignty is the cause.

Uncle Bud’s ‘celebration of life’ gathering.

Yesterday, I attended a celebration of life for my uncle Bud who died recently at age 91. He was loved, appreciated, admired and respected as a father, businessman, athlete and all-round “good guy”. Bud loved life and lived it fully. His ready smile and infectious laugh will be missed by everyone.

I traveled 90 minutes to attend this event with my youngest brother. I briefly spoke with my sister and another brother at the gathering. During the car ride, Paul and I had time to catch up.

Bud’s sister, Bette, was my mom and mother of a girl and four boys. I am the oldest son. While mom was alive (until 2010), our family met most Sundays for family dinner. It was a tight group. Since then, however, rifts have occurred and the sibling group has become estranged. Paul explained during our car ride that none of my siblings or their spouses would tolerate any discussion of a political nature and this is the basis of the prolonged rift.

Ostracized by my siblings.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I spend a lot of time thinking, reading, listening talking and writing about topics that have a strong political current that runs through them. Covid19, vaccines, climate change, political figures, government waste, economics - these are the controversial, “no go” topics that are contentious between my siblings and I. These topics are to be avoided at all costs, with one exception. My siblings are allowed to repeat the talking points on these topics that they have heard on mainstream media; I am not allowed to add information or opinion that I have learned from books, podcasts, and alternative media sources. I, the man I am today, have been “cancelled” by my own siblings.

Needless to say, I have little in common with my siblings. Small talk is OK for a few minutes, but once a “no go” topic arises in which I not allowed to participate, I leave the discussion. They are free to be themselves and to express their interests and opinions (even political ones) uncensored. I have been censored and am acutely aware of this fact.

A stranger’s comment

Last night, I spoke with a lady who commented on the pandemic and the fear it has created in so many people. She said that she felt sorry for “the fearful” as we both scanned the room of about 60 visitors. She was referring to the 4 people on the room who wore a mask. One of them was my sister who, at age 72, had recovered from Covid19 about a month ago. While an otherwise very intelligent woman, sis has been ruled by her emotions all of her life. Fear and sentimentality are two adjectives that characterize any conversation that I have had with her since mom died.

Last night, sis and I had no conversation because I couldn’t hear a thing she said through her thick, custom-made mask.  I didn’t mind, however. While I was not wearing a “real” mask, I wore the invisible mask of censorship - a “social” mask. Nothing I wanted to discuss with her would have been “heard” anyway.